Happy Birthday, Scarecrow!
by Unassailable Heart
Summary: In honor of the Scarecrows birthday. The Mad Hatter and the Riddler invite (and kidnap) a few people. Should be good, right?


"We could have a tea party," suggested Jervis Tetch.

"Ooh, how about some sort of big puzzle thing he can solve?" said Edward Nygma.

Jervis tipped his head to the side. "I don't think he would appreciate that…"

"And he'd like a tea party so much better?"

Jervis huffed. "Well really, what can you expect for a _birthday?_ "

Edward rolled his eyes. "Not everyone celebrates unbirthdays, Tetch. In fact, most people never celebrate unbirthdays at all!"

"I deny it, said the March Hare!"

Edward sighed and dropped into a chair, deciding not to upset his friend by pushing the unbirthday issue. "If we are gonna do something for Jonathan before he gets back, we should really start."

"Maybe we should, you know, invite some people over and just have a party?" said Jervis.

"Hmm. Good idea. Now who should we invite?"

…

Poison Ivy carefully shook some potting soil in around the slightly wilted tulip. Stupid people, always placing their needs above those of plants! How would they like to be shoved in a windowsill where all can see and none care? Why, she oughta-

 _Ding dong!_

The sound of her doorbell ringing jerked her out of her thoughts. She started cleaning dirt off of her hands.

"I'll get it!" called her current housemate, Harley Quinn, running past to answer the door.

Ivy heard the door open. "Hello?" asked Harley in her high voice. There was a murmured response that Ivy couldn't hear. She stopped her gardening, listening to the half of the conversation she could pick up.

"Really?"

"No way! He know?"

"He don't, huh?"

"Well what can I do?"

"You do?!"

"Sure, I'll get her to come!"

"You're welcome. We gotta bring anything?"

"That I can do!"

"Oh…You don't want Mistah J there?"

"Oh, ok, that's fair."

"Oh, I wouldn't miss it! You'll see us there!"

The door closed and Harley skipped into the room. "Hey Ivy, guess what we're doing today?"

…

Harvey Dent flicked his coin into the air. "Hmm. An intriguing offer."

Jervis and Edward sat in two chairs across from Two Face. Edwards was black, and Jervis's was white. "Well, could you hurry up and make a decision; we're kind of in a hurry..." Edward hedged.

Harvey tossed his coin, catching skillfully, looked at it, and then nodded. "I'm in."

"Why is he being so intense? He knows it's a celebration, not a heist, right?" whispered Jervis as he and Edward left Harvey's hideout. Edward shrugged.

…

Becky Albright yawned, pushing away the file she had been reading. It was hard work, being a lawyer. She decided to order in some pizza for dinner. Four o'clock was a bit early, but-

 _Knock, knock, knock!_

Becky sighed and put the phone down. She walked over to the door and opened it. "Can I help- oh no!"

Jervis Tetch smiled. "Hello, we are here-"

 _Slam!_

Jervis blinked. "Well that was rude."

Edward waved his hand. "Eh, who knows why normal people do the things they do?"

"Stop right there!" A small teenage boy dropped from a building to the sidewalk in front of the villains. "Now, are we gonna do this the easy way, or the hard way?"

Jervis looked at Edward. Edward looked at Jervis.

"Oh, good, the hard way- hey, what are you- lemme go- mmfff!"

…

Jonathan sighed, shifting the bag of groceries from one hand to the other to open the door, eager to get to his room. He hoped his housemates weren't doing anything crazy. It had been a particularly trying day, and-

"Happy birthday!"

Jonathan blinked. "I'm sorry, what?" he addressed the six grinning- no, one was frowning. Was that Robin?

"Lemme go, and Batman might go easy on you!"

"Oh, pipe down!" ordered Harley Quinn, shoving a cookie into Robin's mouth. "No talkin' about the bat at parties!"

Jonathan put the bag of groceries down. "You all… threw me a birthday party?"

"It was Jervis's and Edward's idea," said Poison Ivy.

Jonathan shook his head. "I'm, I'm not sure whether to be mad or- oddly touched."

"Go for the last one!" said Harley. "Then we can have cake!"

"Phrere's kak?" said Robin around the cookie.

"Yes, lots!" said Jervis cheerfully. "Come blow out your candles, Jonathan!"

Jonathan felt his mouth twitch up into a smile. "I'm coming. And thank you all very much, my friends."


End file.
